Missing Out

I often miss the little girl whose dreams had no barriers, who believed in a world where anything was possible and with a heart that was full and unbroken

Internet Crazy

Ok, things that I just do not understand! One, has anyone heard of this site called juicy campus? I was told about it by one of my sorors. It is probably the worst site I have ever layed eyes on. Basically it is a site where people or should I say cowards are able to anonymously post things about each other. These "people" post things from who has given who an std to who they think is ugly. I've seen posts claiming that girls are whores and who they've slept with and even more disturbingly, I've seen posts proudly proclaiming hatred for blacks, mexicans, and homosexuals. Why do we do this to each other, why do we constantly tear each other down? If you dont like somone- pray about it and move on. Is it really necessary to go on a website and publically humiliate someone? Thankfully, I am too old and out of the loop to find myself as a target for this site but unfortunately several of my close friends have. If you know anyone who posts on this site, please tell them not to. Tell them that before they write something horrible, try to imagine their name beside it instead of someone else's.
Two: Why do people continue to put their business on facebook? I just do not understand it. Facebook is a site where friends can keep in touch. I do not want to sign on to facebook and know that your man is a piece of shit (then to find out the next day you took him back). We dont want to know what friend has stabbed you in the back, how depressed you're feeling today or how you are "this close" to whooping someone's ass. So please people- keep it light! If you want to spill your guts; get a blog. lol

Gettin' Right with Jesus!

One of my many goals for 2008 was to "get right with Jesus". The last couple of years have really been a time of growth and reflection but it has also been a very selfish time in my life. I have made a lot of decisions based on feelings and wants instead of "needs" and "shoulds". So anyway, I had my first quiet time in I don't know how long last night and I wanted to share a story:

Long before the days of hopping on a plan to get to another country, we had to rely on traveling by boat (imagine that- a month long trip on a darn boat). So there was this poor man who longed to travel to another country. He saved for months and months and finally he was able to save enough money to purchase a ticket. Since he only had enough money to purchase the ticket and didnt think he could afford meals on the ship, the poor man filled a large suitcase with cheese and crackers. Night after night the man would sit in a corner and eat his cheese and crackers as all the other guests dinned on fine food and drink. He would savor the smells of the food and he often daydreamed about what the food must taste like. One evening during dinner another man from the ship approached the poor man. He said that he had witnessed him eating his cheese and crackers night after night and he wondered why the poor man did not eat in the dinning hall with all the other guests. Somewhat embarrassed, the poor man responed that he only had enough money to purchase the ticket and did not have enough money for food. The other man just laughed and said " didn't you realize that when you bought your ticket, that it included the meals?"

This story really spoke to me because I realized that so many times we limit our blessings. We are so blind to what God has for us that we cannot see our gifts even when they are right in front of us. God has already paid the price for us to have everything that He says we can have....we just have to be bold, have confidence, and take it with authority. So guys- don't miss out on your blessings. Even when you think you don't deserve it- take it- then turn around a be a blessing to someone else!

Things that I Love!

One thing that I have had to adjust to since beginning a full time job is the all the little gifts you have to get. Maybe you guys don't experience this but since I work in a small office (there are only 3 full time employees)we get each other small gifts for pretty much every holiday. I always seem to run into the same problem- I never know what to get people. Actually, I have that problem with some of my closest friends as well. I'm a very personal person so I like to know little tidbits about people :) So just in case anyone ever wonders about me- these are the things I love:

Friday afternoons (there is nothing like leaving work and knowing you don't have to be back for 2 days), donuts- especially cinnamon, the color purple( the actual color and the movie), candles that smell like baked goods,picture frames, between you and me cards,cold, sunny days, Janet Jackson, talking, learning something new about someone you already know, the little rasberry and blackberry gummy candies from the nice candy stores, sleeping late, pillow top mattresses, rainy days, purses and shoes, books, psychology, movies, mtv, 7 jeans, burberry, gucci perfume, manicures, pedicures, massages, hair cuts, cleaning supplies (I know I'm weird), AKA, music- especially alternative, poetry, art, ballet, moscoto and purple flowers :)

I know my blogs have been kind of heavy lately, so I wanted to write something on a lighter note. You know sometimes you can have the most fun doing the simplest things. I am posting a picture of me and some of my sorority sisters from a couple of weeks ago. A quiet Tuesday night turned into a very fun evening!! Well something similar happened last night. A simple dinner and a movie date ended up being a blast- thumbs up to Dave ;) So I have got to tell you guys what happened. My friend and I walk into the movie theater on a Monday night at 9:30. As you can imagine, its completely empty. Well we thought it was empty (lol). There was actually a young couple sitting on the very top row. I am sure we half way ruined their night (it probably would have be nice to have an entire theater to yourself). But anyway, so midway through the movie I start to hear several loud moans. You can use your imagination to figure out what was going on. So go to the movies on a Monday night and see what happens!! lol

32 days from 26. I thought things would be different. I thought by now I would know who I was, who I wanted to be, where I was going. What hat do I put on today, what face do people want to see? Sometimes I hate this person. Her eyes tell me who I really am. Scared of the truth, longing to be someone else. Someone better, someone greater, just not me. Trying to be unique but scared to stand alone. Antipathy for others yet longing to be in their presence. Overconfidence shadowed by great insecurity. Outwarding looking independent and proud, inwardly feeling lonely and ashamed. Trying to reinvent the outside but knowing the inside is the same.