32 days from 26. I thought things would be different. I thought by now I would know who I was, who I wanted to be, where I was going. What hat do I put on today, what face do people want to see? Sometimes I hate this person. Her eyes tell me who I really am. Scared of the truth, longing to be someone else. Someone better, someone greater, just not me. Trying to be unique but scared to stand alone. Antipathy for others yet longing to be in their presence. Overconfidence shadowed by great insecurity. Outwarding looking independent and proud, inwardly feeling lonely and ashamed. Trying to reinvent the outside but knowing the inside is the same.