I did some reading today- random articles, fellow bloggers updates and they all had one thing in common: they talked about love. Maybe its just that Valentines day is around the corner or maybe its the cold weather. You know cold weather makes you wish you had someone to snuggle up to ;) So I figured I might as well jump on the bandwagon and speak on the subject as well.
Love is such a strange thing. We long for it, we chase it, we idolize it. Then once we have it, we blame it for our mistakes, hate it for making us weak. I used to love this boy. I did everything aside from screaming from the rooftops to get him to love me too. When I realized that he wouldn't I was so mad at myself. I just couldn't understand why I counldn't stop feeling for him. Then I read something today. The article was talking with a woman who had recently gotten a divorce. She was saying that the hardest thing about leaving her husband was that she was not ready to stop loving him yet. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. When we complain about an unwanted emotion, many times we are not ready to give that emotion up. It's like we need that emotion to feel alive, to feel normal or maybe to just feel. But I know now that I am ready to stop loving and nurturing something that can never grow. I will not be mad anymore, I will no longer hold on to guilt and hurt. I am ready to be free.